Finished on 6.12.25

A quick side note / caveat that nobody but me will care about—my third job was crazy busy the last three months so I got wayyyyy behind on these posts! I’m catching up now and intend to post several today.

Okay so this book rules!!! And I’m so shocked nobody has ever recommended it to me given how much I love divorce content.

I wound up reading this because I saw a trailer for the 2025 movie, “The Roses,” which led me to the 1989 movie, “The War of the Roses,” which led me to the 1981 book that started it all. And to nobody’s surprise, the book is way, way better than both movies (though the 2025 movie is far superior to the 1989 movie, IMO).

I truly loved everything about this book—it’s dirty, grimy, hateful, and so, so funny. It’s a beautiful portrait of divorce at that specific time in American history, and also absolutely timeless. The characters’ selfishness leads to a mutual downward spiral that is amazing and delightful both on its face and in its metaphors.

I love hate 🙂

Click here to buy this book on Bookshop.org

My favorite quotes:

“A flood of letdowns careened down the spillway of his anxiety-ridden mind. Who would feed Benny? Who would turn the wine, care for the orchids, wind the tall mahogany clock? Who would repair the broken appliances, watch over the antiques, the paintings, the Staffordshire figures? And who would tune up the Ferrari? How dare they separate him from his chores, his possessions? The idea was almost as unbearable as the pain.”

“‘You have to understand what it means to love someone as much as I love Jonathan,’ she had responded, as if that were all that needed to be said. Why hadn’t they warned her of the transience of such emotions? Nothing lasts except things. Her fingers traced the curled design of the elaborate candelabrum.”

“Love, she thought, remembering it now only as something that had tricked her. Love lies.”

“‘It’s going to be a bother,’ he said.
‘Life’s a bother.’
‘Don’t be so fucking philosophical, Barbara.’”

“He had, Jonathan told himself, been a good and loving husband. He had nearly offered ‘faithful’ to complete the triad but that would have discounted his two episodes with hookers during conventions in San Francisco and Las Vegas when the children were small.”

“‘I won’t have it. I mean it’s not fair. The house is ours. OURS. She takes the OU. I take the RS.’”

“In the first place, she told herself, she had had more than her fair share of unrequited love. It was foolish, adolescent. Worse, it was one-sided.”

“She noted that The Washington Post was not being delivered, either, certain evidence that no one was at home. Few Washingtonians ever started the day without the Post.”